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M1- 30 Questions for my Self Discovery

 Hey me!
I decide to answer the 30Qs about my self-discovery to review my life and my thought every month since Apr. 2018, this month. At least, I have to insist to do this for 3 years.

Okay, without further ado, here is my answer to the 30 questions. It's also my first time formally answer these questions.

1. How do I feel at the moment?
   Anxious about my procrastination of those important things in my life so far.
   Fear of being this lazy, unmotivated attitude toward my life.
   Guilty for wasting my limited youth.
   Shame of not doing meaningful things, not being hard-working, not moving toward my goals.
   Sorry for not paying attention to those people who truly care me as friends.
   Happy for being together with my dad in my home. It's really precious. I should be aware of how valuable of the life and time that I can spend with my family right now.

2. What do I need more of in my life?
    ACTION! AMBITION! RESPONSIBILITY!
    I need to do more to achieve my goals! I need to execute my plans. I need to be ambitious about what I wish myself to be. I need to DO them! I need to be responsible for those people who care me, love me and my life afterward.

3. What would make me genuinely happy right now?
    The realization of things I should have done. Do more than people's expectation.
Do something more meaningful to my family. To know how to balance my life with my personal professional goals, my relationship, my social media messages, and my ability to learn things efficiently.

4. What is going right in my life?
    NOTHING! I destroy those things once to be right into wrong paths now.

5. What am I grateful for? List at least 10 things?
   1- My family's love.
   2-My friends' care and love.
   3- My Boyfriend's love and his family's love and kindness.
   4-I have free time and the choice of my life plan!
   5-I am healthy enough to do things I want to do.
   6-I have good food, drinks, and things I want.
   7- I have achieved my goals since long time ago so far. Traveling to those places I've dreamed of, living in an exotic country for a long time and receive education there.
   8- I can sing and listen to the music I love!
   9- I live in the era of Internet which brings so much more possibility that allows me to reach to abundant resource for whatever I want to know.
   10- I am young.

6. When did I experience joy this week?
    My dad said he would like to bring me to see the eye doctor once I chatted with my brother about the different eye-sight problem. My dad always thinks about me. He always what I want to have in the breakfast, and dinner. In the weekend, he would ask me if I want more dumplings to cook for lunch, then he prepared to buy them in the traditional market. He would say I should sleep earlier to have better health condition. He brings me to eat the duck rice and soup in Yanchen District one night because I said I never ate that when we passed the shop. He always pick me up whenever I need. See him laughing hard and listen to him sharing the Korean and Japanese drama.

    See my boyfriend's happy face when I "make him feel comfortable". 

7. List all my small victories and success.
   1. Bring my brother and father travel to Seoul in Korea this spring, and they are happy and satisfied about it. We have way less "conflict" or unhappy moment this time. Love to be with them! Love them always listen to me and do not complain about my arrangement. Love the feeling of their trust!
  2. Finish a long-term dream. Travling to 24 countries to my life so far and having so many unforgettable journies. Have a great experience in Leiden.
  3. Hard-working enough to have my English ability so far.
  4. Being so focus on my goals and achieve some of them before.
  5. Run my love relationship with my boyfriend. I love our memories and happiness together.
   6. Keep contact with my best friend Lian.


8. What's bothering me? Why?
    Not able to start my action and restart my hard-working mode on.
    Because I need to move on now. I need to build my future now. I need to grow up and feed myself, take care my family later in my life, chase dream with my lover together, love back my beloved friends, have the ability to influence the world and contribute my something to make the world better, to have genuine happiness, to be the one I respect and wish to be, to cherish the limited time I have. I am not immortal physically, but I want to be immortal spiritually. I only live once. I can't waste my time like this right now.

9. What are my priorities at the moment?
    Training my professional ability to be a speech therapist. Finding the balance of my personal life (music, travel, friends, lovers, family, learning things, health care) and my professional life (study professinal knowledges, volunteer, internship, conference).

10. What do I love about myself?
     Potential to be hard-working and efficient.
     Good at empathy, understanding people.
     Happy, easier to be satisfied, see things both sides, not too extreme.
     Laugh face.
     Able to sing a bit better.
     Interests in languages.
     Kind.

11. Who means the world to me? Why?
    Myself, I would say. I focus more on myself.

12. If I could share one message with the world. What would it be?
     Cherish the moment.

13. .....

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